Groucho Marx often recounted the tale of a dinner party at which he propositioned a starlet sitting next to him. 'Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?' Groucho asked, laughing. The starlet, blushing, nodded agreement that she would, and they both laughed.
Later, over drinks, Groucho asked, 'Would you sleep with me for twenty dollars?' This time, the starlet slapped him, hissing 'What kind of girl do you think I am?!'
Said Groucho, 'I know what kind of girl you are. Now we're haggling for price!'
A legislator asked a vintner how he'd feel if he was allowed to mail his wine to any customer in the US, overriding all state liquor sales regulations other than age requirements. The vintner, having wanted to mail his California wines to New York and Florida customers for years, praised the legislator's good sense at eliminating these costly restrictions on the free market.
The next session, the legislator asked the vintner how he'd feel about having to compete against marijuana distributors and cocaine manufacturers for the recreational dollars of his customers. The vintner was appalled that the legislator would propose such a dangerous, unAmerican idea, and wondered what he could be thinking!
Said the legislator, "Now, we're haggling for the meaning of 'free!' "
Whenever I hear anyone (other than a few hard-core libertarians from the Cato Institute) bad-maouth regulations and talk about 'free markets,' I always pause to ask if they endorse selling beer to 12-year-olds, SAMs to the Crips, or marijuana to anyone. If they say 'No!', then we both know what kind of person they are.
Then, the conversation can move on to 'acceptable manners and levels of market regulation.'
At least then the discussion is a rational and realistic negotiation.
To paraphrase Clinton, it depends on how free 'free' is!
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