Back in the Saddle...

(10/6/10 5:38:28 PM)
I’ve been beating myself up for a few days for not writing in a few days, after I’d pledged to myself that I’d write every day.
For a change, I’m just going to start writing here. Welcome to Mister Kelley’s Wild Ride:

It struck me that I used to be able to recall a face and a name when I met a person again, regardless of timelag or context. But that was, what, thirty years ago? Nowadays, I’m lucky to realize I’ve met someone before, unless I’ve had to work with, or for, that person. Yet when I’m back with that person, and reminded of the where or when, the whole context drops in place, and I remember entire conversations, histories, etc. Apparently, my flat memory model has self-reorganized into a paged model, perhaps because of the volume of experience that now fills my head. (How many neurons are wasted on the dozens of ad jingles and TV themes I experienced in my childhood? Or that the latest brain science has discovered that neurons communicate not just through synaptic signalling but through actually twitching physically, actually nudging the neuron next to it.)  I pulled a shirt off the rack at home, to wear to a nice dinner, and where it came from never occurred to me. Yet when Dawn remarked that she’d bought it for me, that cue brought back the entire experience, the shop in Ventura, the smell of the shop and the location of the rack in the store. I could take you there right now. Fighting to make my brain work one way when it wants to work differently is a waste of time, now that I understand what it’s doing.

A side effect, or maybe just a related area, is that I still am looking forward to all the careers I was hoping to choose from, or at least try, when I was in high school. Comedian, mathematics teacher, paleontologist, outfielder for the Reds. This is not to be mistaken for immaturity. At least I hope not. Emotionally, I had to do a lot of growing after I stopped smoking and started growing up again. (The second-worst side effect of addiction is that you stop growing up the day the addiction kicks in. The worst side-effect is swirling down a toilet bowl of life, and trying to drag everyone you know down with you.) No, emotionally I’m mostly the grown-up I look like. But I still expect to get through this part ad then go on to a career in…see above. I think a lot of guys are stuck at their senior year in high school when it comes to self-image. Maybe that’s why guys still think women, younger women, will be attracted to them. Which can be pathetic to watch in even mild cases, much less the Trump or Hefner extravaganzas. Women don’t get off much easier. I think they get stuck around twenty-two, but that’s just my experience from the past.

A friend’s Facebook entry (one of her many today) remarked that one of the fastest ways to lose friends on Facebook is to be too focused. None of that here, eh? In fact, that may be why I’ve been a ‘net fan since about ’94, when I helped write a ‘B’ license domain request for a since-defunct company called Fibermux. That license became the most valuable asset they had when their parent company rolled them up and took all the paperwork back to Minnesota. I love disappearing down the rabbit hole, because it’s like living in the reference library of my brain’s various cubbyholes.

Running long…more on Thursday…
(10/6/10 6:02:15 PM)